Calendars can help you understand Eve

Having been in all-male school and living in a country where its culture establishes barriers in socializing the two human sexes, I was skeptical about my communication skills when I went to pursue my education in a mixed university such as AUS.

Fortunately, I did very well. Neither was I one of those guys who'd always keep his head low, can't make two words together or make a comprehendible sentence when they are around girls. Nor I was one of those perverts who see women as moldable doll with two spheres worth exploring.

Being very peaceful, I rarely fight or get into conflicts. That's why it really annoys me when I get into unnecessary arguments with my female friends. Its even more irritating when it's a huge misunderstanding or an escalated issue that was not worth it. In my first year at university, most of my conflicts are with the opposite sex, which made me self-doubt, myself of understanding them.

By my 2nd year, I got fed up. My close friend had proposed a logical hypothesis that was worth testing. And thus began my experiment:


Data Collection: I've spent 3rd semester, a period of 3 months, documenting the dates of those conflicts I've had with the close girl friends I knew.

Data Analysis: a pattern. Conflicts happen periodically. A conflict almost every 4 weeks per girl…. Except for 3 conflicts that didn't fit in the pattern..hmm, so far so good

Data Testing: by my 4th semester, its time to test my hypothesis. I start to provoke unjustified fights like my famous "hey, let's have lunch" and I never come or even call. Or I start going out with all our friends and not calling her. I used to do this at a random time (what we call the control factor) and I repeat the same procedure at the recorded date I have for each girl.

Conclusion: Hypothesis confirmed. Avoid girls when they are PMSing.


I can't tell you how useful that experiment has been. By my 3rd year, I have my estimated date of each close girl friend I have. Whenever we get into one of those unnecessary fights, I just take a quick look at my calendar and check if it is the approximate time of the month. If it doesn't match, then the troubles are serious and I should work on fixing them. If there is a match, I update my calendar and I switch from defensive male Hamza that says "hey I didn't do anything" to caring female hamza "oooh sweety, I am sorry, its gonna be ok, I didn't mean it etc"

Wait…did I just say that I have a female side?...uhm..never mind

23 comments:

KJ said...

I don't keep a calendar for this, because I simply ask. Rude, probably, but to the point. LoL.

I also discovered that some girls are constantly in that stage. Probably safe to stay on their friendly side.

Isam Abu Salhieh said...

man ... such things are not spoken abt u just keep them to ur advantage ... i do this too bu ti dont know abt anyone else i never asked ...

Kinan said...

Women during "that time of the month" are silly. One minute their laughing their socks off and the next their just on the floor wailing like, well, something that wails a lot!

looool!

Good going hamza. I am impressed. :)

eshda3wa said...

you did not need to experimant

everyone knows GET THE HELL AWAY IM PMSING!!

bs something you should take into consideration, even on my good days
even if i was a guy if you call and say lets go to lunch
then dont show up...
never a good thing
pms or not

eshda3wa said...

oh and tip

to help sooth a girls pain

have chololate, water , tissue, and a hug available within arms reach

Elijah said...

LMAO good one hamza, what can we do about it, that's how we were created?

Can you believe that I really wanted to have a baby last time I was PMSing :P that's terrifying!!

And of course you have a female side, you're a Gemini, the twins! and good for you at least you know what to do and can be sympathetic during that time.

Nice one hamza :P

Hamza said...

KJ - constantly in that age?..oops..I'd never dare to ask. But I'd noticed that western girls tend to tell you out loud and warn you "hey I am PMSing..don't joke with me"...So you kind of get the point

Isam Abu Salhieh - welcome aboard. I really respect some of those girls who tend to avoid you when they are PMSing. Its kind of telling you indirectly "stay away from me".

Kinan - I KNOW. We were going out once, joking, making fun and I delibrately spilled water on her........BIIIG MISTAAAAAAAKE...let's just say that I've been traumatized for a significant period of time

eshda3wa - hehehe..thanks for the tips. I'll consider the tissues and choclate. I'll avoid water (read above) and I am ok with a hug if she doesn't get too emotional and falls in love with me.

elijah - wow, that's scary. well, 20 more years and most probably you'll not have to go through this monthly experience. :P

Kinan said...

lmao @ "traumatized for a significant period of time"

looooooooooooooooooooooooooool

7aki Fadi said...

So do you have a theory/study for men who PMS, I know a couple of men that I swear if they were not men that they were PMSing, maybe there are more in touch with their feminine side ;)

eshda3wa said...

fall in love?

im not capable of love when i pms
its HATE HATE HATE
pure hate and anger and sobbing

not a happy time :)

Elagante said...

I found your blog interesting if you don’t mind adding you to my friends bloggers :)

Sene said...

Always be nice to a lady when PMSing if you know what is good for you..

Ms Loala said...

What's up with you guys and the whole PMSing thing. Get used to it!
One day you'll sleep next to a pmsing wife so you better be ready then :p

And trust me, it doesn't need a pmsing girl to be angry at your experiments, you'll be traumatized for the rest of your life :D

Hamza said...

7aki fadi- to help you understand ur concerns, you should read "why men don't have a clue and why women need more shoes"..its all about the timing of the conversations, and no nagging

eshda3wa- what I meant is that they get too emotional that they appreciate small stuff. they'd be like "oooh you are sooo cute, you walked me to the dorms..nobody does this to me"..she doesn't know that i did it because I ordered takeaway food with my loser friends and its gonna take another half an hour, and that i am just killing time.

elegante - you are welcome. Hope to see you more often and good luck in naming the cat. ;)

sene - yep. I learned it the hard way. Now I'll try to just avoid them.

ms loala - I am not saying its ur fault. I am just giving my male companions a method to help them understand Eve and avoid unnecessary conflicts or even soothe them when they are in this phase

Ms Loala said...

lol :p
it's really sweet, it shows that you care about eve

Dandoon said...

Hamza..this is totally random and unrelated. but are you the Hamza Taha who moved to Mississauga in summer 2005/2006. I think I meet you

Dandoon said...

silly me commented randomly before reading the post.
now here is what i think: say WHAAAT. you did that? and you are not the only one recording dates?!? no wonder you kept good relations with those girl friends.
again this proofs that women are easily understood if men open their minds...open a new window of course.

KJ said...

Wow you really caused some fuss here :P

In the end, don't trust something that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die

Hamza said...

dandoon--hmm...yep..that's...me. I am trying to remember you. Obviously you are not the one who tried to get me drunk, and I don't think you did salsa with me. So I think you are the one who tried to send a ps2 with me to KSA...right?..Welcome to my blog. and I hope to see you more often. :)

Dandoon said...

Wallah you have good memory!
sa7 I don't know how to Salsa and I obviously I don't drink :p
So you live in Jeddah now? Done college already!

The Observer said...

Heehhehe, excellent observation! lol. This is so true! Poor women, they have to deal with this stuff! It is good to know about it, and avoid it when necessary.

wonders said...

this came as a shock to me, i never thought males are capable of such creative thinking :)
no seriously NICE.....

Life said...

:)
I couldnt help smiling.. reading this Post!
this is funny.. and its true.. and I think you are smart..
Some men dont even understand that there is such thing..
But to want to track.. analays .. and do all those stuff.. is interesting indeed! :)