A moment where I wished I had Moses Staff

Few days ago, I was asked what was the most embarassing situation I was ever in. I drove on my memory lane where I passed by many (and they are alot, trust me) incidents that left me red-faced in embarassment. But nothing is comparable to what happened to me on the dawn of my 5th semester at university.

my phone rings: 
"so hamza, any plans for dinner?"
"hmm...actually not"
"ok, fine, I'll pass by you later to pick you up and your friend and we'll go out. You'll get to meet my sister for the first time too"

Yeaaa. She was the first among our group that got a car and since that day, we no longer took the University bus that took light eons to drop us at the city centre. With the car, we can even listen to the music we want and...Oh Memories.

So that night, the 4 of us decided to dine at the "Automatic" Restaurant in Sharjah near the corniche. I don't know what was so automatic about it since the dinner takes ages for it to be served. We even have doubts about the quality of oil its being used. We believe that they cook the food with "automobile" oil, thus the word "automatic". Well, I don't wanna know.

so here we were, seated. me & my friend next to each other. Her and her sister right opposite to us. Her sister has recently joined the university and as wise 3rd year students, we try to share our wisdom about the "do's" and "don'ts" and random things here and there. When I found the conversation was getting serious, I attempted breaking the ice and changing the topic:

"oh, so what's that on your necklace? is it your horoscope..I see a scorpion"

It was the trend back in the days for ppl to wear their astrological sign. It didn't occur to me that the fuming face and the grin look would outburst at me when she said: 


Time froze. 
the Earth rambled
The Heaven shattered.
I saw mateors crashing on me.
I imagined Odin being summoned and running after me to decapitate my head.

I have entered into a mental coma that triggered my tongue to activate the auto pilot program titled "endless apology". I have muttered apologetic words and phrases that I cannot recall till this day. No matter how much I justify that I never intended to offend her, I still felt bad whenever I rethink of it as it sounded so degrading. Scorpion. Damn, what was I seeing?

her older sister (and my friend) helped in justifying my position as it must have been an honest mistake coz I've never offended christians before. The drama was over after a couple of awkward minutes of silence, till my smart friend who was sitting next to me decided to question something interesting:

"the real question is...why were you looking at her chest in the first place?"

OH Earth, devour me.

Time Froze.
The Earth rumbled.
The Heaven shattered....


KJ said...


Was it me who was with you?! Looks like I have amnesia!

Well you could have put a more updated summon of Odin or was that your hint :P

7aki Fadi said...

HAHAHAHA. Your freind is EVIL.

Ali Dahmash said...

I think she is dumb and over sensitive, its not like she is the only Arab Christian we know in this world, and if she was waering that necklace then you are right, it doesnt look like Jesus at all!

eshda3wa said...

i thought it was a scorpion too!

Anonymous said...

LOL! kharjak.

Mohammad said...

a scorpion for Jesus man loooooooooooooooooooool

Hamza said...

KJ - no it wasn't you. and I put this version of odin coz this is what I remember at that time. :P

7aki Fadi- I don't think so. its more like being stupid. :P

Ali & eshda3wa - it wasn't this necklace. But I chose this one to highlight how the arms can from far look like a cross. lol

batoul - loooool. inshalla Allah ye7otek in a situation worse than this

zaher - looooool. I should have kept my mouth shut. :P

Omani Jewel said...

i found the post funny ... it did look like a scorpion ;-) she is a kid leave her be... as for the sister smart ... heheh ;-) nice blog

suha said...

LOL hilarious and she souldnt have been offended ya3ni some people are too sensitive, but your other friend is funny as hell

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of an "Allah" pendant I had- someone asked if it was a foot and when I said that it's calligraphy and it said God they froze too! Hehe. It happens in "the best of families"!