Housemaid wanted

Around last eid, our housemaid gave us a notice that she is leaving and going back to Indonesia forever. It is not that she hated the country or hated working with us. On the contrary, we loved her. She was clean, humble, co-operative and her housekeeping was outstanding. It is very rare to find someone like her. But you gotta respect a woman who worked hard just to raise enough money to get her daughter to university. And when she did, it was time for her to go.

Ever since that day, we were searching for a decent replacement. We were extremely patient in finding someone who'd at least meet minimum standards. Instead, we dealt with bizarre situations with the ones that we tested during these 11 months. And I am willing to share with you some of the cases we had over that period:

Case 1: before I start talking about Maid 1, it is worth sharing with you my mom's theory when it comes to maids. Mom knows that each maid will eventually end up stealing from us. Mom has lost hope in finding an honest maid. Her main concern with each one we hire is to catch her steal the first time so we teach her a lesson and make sure she never repeats. This has been a very effective approach. Unfortunately, this was proven right every single time with ALL the maids that have served us during those 21 years. The best maid we had stole from us the first time but when mom caught her, she never did it during the rest of the 8 years she kept serving us. I've always rejected her hypothesis as I am an optimistic person and a believer in people's good intentions.

With Maid 1, mom caught her the first time and gave her the usual warning. Weeks later, my dad was irritated by some of the burnt light bulbs in the living room's chandelier. While he was changing the bulbs, he discovered that one of our old cell phones; (my sister's backup phone that she lost a couple of days ago) was just hanging in there. Now some of us have our crazy moments. But why would someone hide a cell phone among chandelier bulbs with a SIM card full of Philippines' contact names. The maid refused to admit it when we confronted her.

Days later, I wake up to go to work. Like every morning, I shower and shave. And when I shave, I usually tend to lock the door of the washroom. It just so happened on that day that I got an SMS message before I wanted to shave and went to my room to check it. And what a nice scene I see especially when I find her there mingling through my wallet. Oh man, for how long has she been stealing from me? How could I've been so careless?

I asked the obvious question "what are you doing"? and she defended herself by saying "she is arranging my business cards and money". What kind of a silly reply is that? Do I have a big "LOSER" sign on my forehead? That's enough, it was time to show her the door.

Heh..and here I thought I could disapprove one of my mom's theories.

Case 2: nothing beats network communities among housemaids and word of mouth. When searching for maids, the first people you'd ask are the maids of family friends if they know someone who would be interested. We Got Maid 2 which is apparently a friend in the same community that our ex-maid was part of. She came and she impressed mom with her clean work, her organisation and her attention to detail. We all liked her...except my sister.

Now that came to me as a surprise, especially since my sister becomes socially active and is always the first one who'd befriend new maids. Hmmm...maybe that explains the VIP treatment and special room delivery service she always had. Ah smart sis..

Anyway, back to the point. So My sister didn't like her. My sister justified her concern by saying: "Hamza, she is too cool. Look at those stylish jeans she is wearing. Look at her expensive cellphone. Look at her thin sexy body. She is no maid".

Ah, someone is jealous but that's an interesting theory. Maybe I can...and a running stream of ideas flush their way to my head.

36 hours later, my mom wakes up and finds me dying of laughter. It took her a couple of minutes to realize that the maid has just escaped, opened up the door when everybody was sleeping and just ran away. I just couldn't stop myself from laughing. This is the first time that a maid escapes form us. Till now, they don't know what happened.

Case 3: maid 3 didn't last too long simply because she had attitude problems. She was not doing her job right and when we criticised her in a constructive way to clean better, she starts arguing. All what we did is ask her to clean behind couches and to swipe the dust over the edges. When she actually did it, she came to me and said "Go check it. I hope you like it now. Now you have no excuse for anything". I was like what the? Is she trying to brag about herself and insult me?

Later, we asked her to clean windows but she refused on the basis that she never had to clean windows in her life. Well, excuse me if you served dirty families but we are not. She gave us another excuse that she has shoulder problems and her doctor does not allow her to strain her shoulder!!! Oookay fine

Next day, she wakes up and complains about her sudden tooth ache and how she "urgently" needs to go see the doctor. Now that's it. It was time to put a stop to this crap. So we just paid her for the 3 days she served us and discharged her.

Case 4: unlike Maid 3's mediocre work, Maid 4 was good. However, she had an annoying problem. She was toooo social. I rarely saw her cleaning without her cellphone. She'll be ironing the clothes, swiping dust, washing dishes while she is on the phone. Well, we can learn to survive with the gibberish Eritrean noise.

2 days later, she asks mom for half a day leave. She is doing shopping with her sisters. Permission Granted. Next day, she asks for another day leave; she has a wedding to attend. Permission Granted. 3 days later, she wants another day leave; a funeral to attend. Permission Granted but now we are pissed. That's 3 leaves in one week.

When it was time for her 4th request (her mom is sick and she wants to take care of her), we were extremely generous as we granted her a "permanent Leave".


And the search still continues...


Saned! said...

This is one interesting post :)
Good luck finding one :D

Sam said...

good luck..finding a good maid is hard work....but then again how would i know..i've never had a maid...darned canada!

KJ said...

Oh man

When mom gave up on maids she enlisted me and my sister to do the work LOOOOL. Mom would do the kitchen and the "fine work", my sister did the dusting all over the house and I did the vacuuming and the bathrooms.

Anonymous said...

funny..:) looking for the next step. meanwhile, i hope u r fexing the mess without a maid, cuz kno how it would be like.. lol. cheers.

KittySigurdardottir. said...

kj Wow! you got the best job.Bathrooms are,my all time favorite to clean.Vaccuming is fun,too,if you have a good vaccum cleaner.What kind do you have?

Are the windows in your house very tall?

Anonymous said...

Have you ever thought of just having someone come twice or three times a week to clean house?? this way you don't have to worry about other problems,she does the work and goes home..Then your mom can cook and cleaning up after meals can be divided between you and your sister??

Nora-Cassandra said...

i can't remember the last time i heard so many maid stories at once! man since i left kuwait i didn't hear 1 maid story! i hope you find the right one!

but thanks for making my laugh as usual! you just know how to make the worst things seem so funny!

Hamza said...

saned - thank you

Sam - don't get one or you'll sloth around and be lazy

KJ - bathrooms? :S yuck...well, I won't mind doing the dishes and ironing the clothes. But mom doesn't trust my work.

a-mok - are right

crystal - *waves to crystal* you know any good maid?

noura - well, that's a good idea. But I don't know why my mom does not want to consider this. Maybe it is her paranoia that it'll not be easier to monitor her theft activities.

nora-cassandra- welcome back girl. Hope you overcame your depression. :)