Flipping the Page

I am moments away from closing the chapter of 2007. Everybody seems to have thrown their darts on 2008. Many have already evaluated 2007 for themselves. They are now waiting for the 12 o'clock of tonight to tick so that they welcome 2008 with the new resolutions that are freshly baked.

And I am still sitting there without my 2008 cake.

Neither I am ready to welcome 2008 nor am I excited about staying in 2007. I am stuck in the void. This is the first time that I have not yet audited myself beforehand or drew a plan for the New Year.

It is going to take me days to wake up and realize that it is time to achieve new milestones.

Meanwhile, I know there are two thing I could start with.

First, is to do something tonight rather than sit at home. Even if I know I could not have a special new year Eve and that it will be a normal one. It will never be like my last 2 exceptional New Year Eves.

The eve of 2006 was unique as I was among the crowd in Ethan Square in downtown who celebrated the night outdoors with alot of music, interviews with the public, parties, fireworks andthe whole countdown process. What a great memory it was as we were freezing under a temperature of -7 degrees. I still remember how the cold got to my sore feet. I still remember my numb purple fingers and the coldest hot dog I ate in my life.

The eve of 2007 was unique too. The 00:00 ticked on my watch as I was throwing the 5^th or 6^th pebble in the last pillar during my Hajj last year. After I threw my stones, I stood for a while and gazed at the thousands of pilgrims around me as they keep on walking . I look at my cousin and whisper: "happy new year". He responds with a smile and keeps on walking.

Second, is to make sure that I should get stressed out more often. 2007 was about discovering more about me by adopting a self-realization thinking practice. I have become a bit selfish by blocking those stress-inducing activities especially those ones caused by external factors. I think that 2007 was one of the least stressful years for me. However, I noticed that whenever I see myself in a stressful situation, even if it was a minute one compared to challenging ones I faced in my earlier years, I begin to panic and exaggerate unnecessarily about it. In addition to that, with each year that passes, it will be normal to start burdening more responsibilities, whether they are family obligations, work-related issues, or society expectations. And with this, comes new challenges and alot of decision making to do, thus up scaling my stress meter. Therefore, I need to tame myself back to those good days where I was capable of handling stressful situations calmly and in silent.

Nobody knows what 2008 has for us. But I will be there like you; standing in the queue waiting for 2008 to share its spoils of joy and sorrow. I hope I will be among those with the larger share of joys. J

cheers