It is missing ME.
London..I am a couple of hours away from you. Wait for me. :D
What's missing in those pictures?
Random Timestamps from Last Week
Date: Saturday, 22 Nov 2008
Timestamp: 22:22 – we are 8 minutes away from the start of the derby d'italia of Inter vs Juventus. I need to rush to reach the coffee shop where I am supposed to meet my friends. I am on the road driving in the middle lane. As I slow down to stop at the traffic light, I hear the car behind me skid..Damn, he is gonna hit me….no, he is back in control. He switches to the left lane and stops next to me. The logo on his car says it all. "Royal Guard"..You definitely don't want to be hit by this car. By default, the 3 lane street converges to a 2 lane street where my middle lane will become the utmost left lane. And anybody on the left lane would by default turn left. The traffic light switches to green. I keep driving straight. Apparently, the royal guard is in the mood of racing. By the time I reached the converging street, I see that car going straight to the central island separating both streets. He freaked the cars waiting on the other street. And then in the middle of the highway, he reverses and gets back to my lane and starts chasing me for 2 to 3 minutes before Making a U-turn and goes back to the traffic light we were at. What's wrong with that guy? Was he drunk?
Timestamp: 23:10 – the game is still in its first half and I am already yawning. 2 guys enter the coffee shop; Or let me call them transvestites as they lack any masculinity features with their hairless body, white powdered face, eyeliners, soft voice and plastically deformed nose. I couldn't help myself from getting distracted by them and watch them every once in a while.
Timestamp: 23:50 – one of them winks me..OOOOOOOOOOOKAY. this is the first time this happens to me since grade 5 when black Mercedes cars used to chase me whenever I went to the grocery store that's 1 block away from my house. I changed my seat
Timestamp: 00:21 – "you freaking kiddin me? WHO PLAYS RACKETS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AFTER MIDNIGHT?" as I shout at the 2 women standing in the middle of the street playing. This was some really fudged up day.
Date: Monday 24th Nov 2008
Timestamp: 23:50
*sighs*. This day would mark as a major milestone in my life. I finally did it after I had waited and tormented myself for months and even years. Let's hope it’s a step forward in my life. I dim the side lamp next to my bed and I close my eyes to go to sleep.
Date: Tuesday 25th Nov 2008
Timestamp: 20:10
16 – it was the number that marked the table allocated for us to watch the play hosted by the school. It was the "Glass Menagerie" play. The play was set in the 40s and it might have been boring since it only revolves around 4 characters only. But I liked the American southern accent and the performance of the girls who depicted the mother & daughter roles. Overall, it was a great night since this is the first time I attend a play in Jeddah
Date: Wednesday 26th Nov 2008
Timestamp: 22:15
I sat there trying to relax. I've been a bee running around all over the place helping in arranging and organizing up this BBQ event. I look around me to see my colleagues who showed up. I put the people on 'mute' and pondered on the thought of how are we united here yet many of us have dark secrets behind us and past lives that we are not willing to share and explore. I look at the right and I see the "Raven" and Mr. "Big Chin" voraciously attending to their cigars while they are engaged in a conversation with the "African Cinderella".. Lying all by himself, I see the 'hyena' sitting and admiring the stars of the night. On the other side, I see Mr. Twinkle Eyes talking to the Falzou3a. I keep on scanning the landscape around me and I reach to 'bagera' and his gang who are engaged in an intense conversation involving a lot of hand gestures. I got interrupted by her:
"shu bak? You ok?" - she said.
I paused. I smiled…Then I went up to attend helping the only guy on the BBQ after I archived this snapshot in my lane of memories.
Date: Thursday 27th Nov 2008
Timestamp: 23:15
Was the time that was displayed on my watch. Too bad I'll be missing the acmilan vs portsmoth UEFA cup game. But it doesn't matter. It isn't like everyday that I spend one last evening with 2 of my friends who are getting married next week. The 'comrade' and the 'raven' will have their weddings on the same day. It would be a difficult decision for "Big Chin" to choose which one to attend. It is not going to be a problem for me as I won't be in the country to attend any. It is funny how one of them will have his wedding and then go to
So, I am sitting with them on the table having 'the last supper'. Home cooked Fish Salmon with garlic sauce and zucchini strips, grilled chips, chicken soup and rockets salad. It is indeed a healthy menu. By the time the four of us sat on the table, we raised our glasses: "Cheers"…
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A prisoner in my own shell…
What I have been up to… Socialwise- Other than one soccer game with the guys and a couple of birthday parties I attended, I am not socializing as I used to. I attended an "all you can eat dessert" hosted at coffee shop near my house. The event was announced on Facebook and I found it as a creative approach to publicize and advertise for the coffee shop. Kudos points to the genius owner. I have been on a boat trip in the red sea where I went snorkeling at 3 different reef sites. For a while, I didn't feel I lived in Jeddah. Our boat was full of foreigners who were open & friendly and have enlightened me about the basic dos and don'ts when it comes to diving. This is the next thing on my to do list: learn diving. The best thing about the whole journey was the company of dolphins. :D Workwise – I was in the office for a total of 4 days in the last 5 weeks. My boss is definitely not the happiest person as I was out of the office most of the time. I enrolled in 4 back-to-back training courses where each one lasts on an average of 5 to 10 days. Covering a wide variety of topics such as banking instruments, project appraisal, logical framework and international trade finance made me feel as I was in an intensive post-grad program. Other than the random nap attacks I unexpectedly experience, it felt good to be a student once again and be on the receiver side for one more time. This had served as an additional motive to… Careerwise – study CFA. After my Eid vacation, I committed myself by registering for the June 2008 exam. Over the last 8 months, I barely managed to complete one out of the 6 books. Over the last 4 weeks, I picked up the pace and finished 2 books totaling 976 pages (the original one and the revision material). I am surprised at my achievement yet it is understandable considering the effect triggered by the surrounding environment ; whether it is the attendance of the above training courses or other factors that have been affecting me… Personalwise- on personal level. A hidden side of me is coming back to surface, an old feeling that I concealed because I couldn't interpret it. All I know about it is that it consumes my mind and tires my soul. One of its major side effects is becoming extremely intolerant to human presence around me. I am hating people yet I am incapable of communicating my anger and thus I end up diverting the shock to my inner core. It is the same core that is becoming ultra-sensitive to the changing variables around it. It is yielding a hurricane of endless thoughts, ideas, interpretations, and conspiracy theories that leaves me to question my own established definitions of what's right and what's wrong. The only remedy I found lies in sealing myself in my sanctuary that serves as my current study room. It is the same room that I have had many success stories in, especially during my O-level and A-level years 7 years ago. Everything about that room changed. The bed, the TV, the cupboards, pc, and even the AC. Trying to recreate the same ambience remained a challenge. I no longer listen to my favorite radio station that all it plays now is gulf music, yet Coldplay's latest album and couple of new Arabic albums (Asala, kazem El saher, nancy ajram and darine hadchiti) are doing their best in balancing my instable mental sanity. But all this doesn't matter now. My inner demons are on hold. Maybe they are waiting for my vulnerable moment where they'd feast on me. But for now, I am just a prisoner in my own shell…
Cab drivers in Jordan
My last trip to Jordan confirmed my theory about cab drivers . I had many horrible stories with this unique class of the society including those of my brother that would just blow your mind away. I could tell you about the time I came back home with my burnt tomato face. My mom would question me if I went to the pool or not because last time she checked, I was supposedly meeting up with friends in Jordanian University Campus. She didn't know that I remained stuck for over FIFTY damned minutes under the merciless sun of August at noon. Cab drivers would never stop for me yet they stop for the girls just waiting behind me. I reached a stage where I wished I was a girl and allow myself to be molested. Just get me home. Damn it. After minutes of waiting, a cab driver would slow down and before I open up my mouth, he goes like: "isma3 ya khali, sweifeyeh bagarebesh 3aleiha, wil rabyeh bafoothash, wi 3abdun 7alef yameen ma afoootha, wi shmesani azmeh mosh tabe3yeh wil balad wi jabal il Hussein manteqa mal3ooneh..bansharet feeeha 3 marrat bi hal shahr. Allah la ywafeqha hal 7okoomeh 3ala hal torgat. 3al 3afyeh. "…and he left without giving me a chance to explain myself. Why the hell did you stop in the first place? On other occasions, cab drivers would just pass by me and give me signals like tilting his head and putting it on 2 hands (note that he is doing that while driving) to signal me that he is going to sleep, or pointing his hand to his mouth signaling he is going to eat. The other day, I tried imagining myself in my brother's shoes when he was with the 'high' cab driver. According to my brother's narration, the guy had red eyes and was so hyper and was dancing with his car on the tunes of George Wassuf. Windows are open and he screams to all the pedestrians on the street: "Allah ye7ayee aslak ya abu wadeeeeeeeeee3"…car screeches to scare some pedestrians on the side road before going back to main road etc etc. Must have been one hell of a death ride. Or the other time, my brother was riding with the taxi of 'Abu Ahmad' (we figured out his name later). On the way to dropping my brother, the driver gets a call: "ah ya um Ahmad…..aaaaaah..ya2alla kef nseet….khalas bamorrek hassa Kaman 10 dagayeg" ("yes Um Ahmad..ooh, how could I forget? I'll be there in 10 minutes") So the driver changes his route and without even consulting my brother, he goes to his house and picks up his wife and 5 of his kids. "Ma3lesh yaba inta wiya..o3od 3ala 7odon 3ammak hoan" My brother shows up with 2 sore legs half an hour later than scheduled and vowing he'll never ever ride with cab drivers. All of this and yet you haven't heard the worst story that I had around 3 years ago when I wanted to see my cousin in sweifeyeh. After waiting for 10 minutes or so, I rode with the first one who picked me up. He was jumpy and voluntarily offered to give me "panadol' pills for my headache. Of course, I am not a kid anymore. Who was he trying to dope? Minutes later, he checks my cellphone out and winks at me saying: "so show me what interesting videos and pictures you have" "what kind of pictures and videos you want?" "you know..illi bali balak" "I have none" "oh come oon. Send" I take a look at his cellphone. His model supports Bluetooth and not infra-red "I don't have Bluetooth. I only have infra-red." "huh…what's that?" Oh damn..I wanted to close the subject but now I had to explain to him about infra-red. As we were in Abdullah Ghoshe's street, a lady walking her daughter screamed at the driver: "3ajebtak il bent ah?..wa7ad mabtesta7ee 3ala dammak ya aleel il zou2" The driver got pissed. Instead of taking left, he took a U-turn: "DUDE, sweifeyeh on left…why did you take left?" "bedi arja3elha hal Ga7*** heye wi bintha il sha*****. Bedi arabeehom" "dude, its ur fault. You started it..you were the one STARING at the girl" "its her fault. Mosh 3arfe trabee bintha illi btedala3 wi mashie bil zalet" "DUDE, both of them are scarved. What are you talking about?" He went back to swear at them and give them inappropriate hand gestures. I couldn't believe that I was seeing this. I wanted to leave the cab but I was already late. Finding another one would take me ages. Before reaching our destination, he stopped at HARDEEZ. "that's not where we agreed to drop me. That's not sweifeyeh" "I know..but sweifeyeh is 5 minutes walking from here. I gotta go." "What do you mean you gotta go? I told you to drop me there" "I promised to pick the lady standing there". "what do you mean you promised? The lady just showed up. You know what? That's it. I am out of here" I stormed out of the cab not paying my fare. 15 minutes later, I see my cousin who bombards me with: "I have been here for 20 minutes. Why are you late? What's wrong with you? Why are you sweating? You look pissed." "nevermind. I wanna forget about it" 3 hours later, I am in a better mood and as we decide to bid each other farewell, my cousin goes like: "hey we could give you a ride. My friend has this CAB and he can…oh you are fuming again? Did I say something wrong…AAAAKH..stay away from…I am suffoca…eeeh" Thank God I am not in jail.
A week in the Land of the Black Irises
As some of you already know, I have decided to spend my Eid Vacation in Jordan. What was different about it this time is that I did my best to untangle myself from the webs of my relatives. I definitely left many negative vibes behind me yet I don't regret it The best thing about this whole trip is meeting 2 bloggers for the first time. They restored my faith in meeting online people and actually having fun with them. Thankfully, Qabbani and faithnmystery did not fall under the stereotyped category that some may perceive against bloggers being boring, socially awkward and their online character is different than their counterpart cyber alias. The first time I got to meet the 2 of them was on Friday where we went to go pick up KJ, a blogger and a close friend who I know for over 10 years, from the airport. Although I rarely read to their blogs, I felt that the guys were talking to each other like they've known each other for years. You should have seen the look on my face when I enquired about how long have they been seeing each other and they were like: "this is the first time we meet" Qabbani – sometimes I used to wonder how ppl in the past lived without TV and internet, but now I understand how possible it can be if you have a person like Qabbani. With 3 or 4 hours of sleep per day and a vast knowledge in most of the topics out there, Qabbani is more of a machine rather than a human being. Just press any of his buttons and you will get an infinite supply of information regardless of the topic.. He'd narrate for you the history of each store in downtown Amman or he could recite to you jokes for 3 hours during the journey from wadi rum back to Amman. Qabbani is very resourceful. We have enjoyed this one week because of the spontaneity of our decisions. We never knew what the day was hiding for us. One minute, we are eating kenafet Habiba, and an hour later, we are on the way to the dead Sea to watch the sunset. As for Maher, we only saw him for few hours. And I personally wished I spent more time with him. You can't help but burst into laughter when you see him. He is a hybrid of a typical American white boy accompanied by the Arab hyperness added with a flavor of Jordanian accent and attitude. Who else other than Maher who would keep smelling the butt of a camel doll..Oh well, what matters to me the most is that we managed to know the real real reason behind him joining the soft ball team. :P KJ-well…I always experience and discover new things about this guy each time I meet him. Let's just say that in this week, he caused enough trouble between Qabbani and his fiancé who is starting to get jealous of him. One thing for sure, I am not telling him when I will get engaged. Friday: Iftar @ Ponte Café in Abdoun – KJ got sick and we spent the next 3 hours baby sitting him til he puked out all the food he ate. What a waste Walk in downtown and tea & coffee at GOUZA café Saturday: Al-Qal3a Castle Roman Theater
KJ attempting Meditation
Iftar @ Quds Resturant - I went for their mansaf and the chicken KJ went for the chicken Kabsa
Balat Al-Rasheed Café – a café that's open since 1926. *rolls eyes*. We were their first customers for the day and let's just say that praying the maghrib there was such a memorable experience
Sunday:
Al-Hussein Gardens -
Walking through city Mall and Mecca Mall
Iftar @ Aunt's house
Qabbani & KJ's date – I went to watch the Acmilan vs Intermilan game at my cousin's house
captured one second before the.....nevermind
Bella Café in 5th Circle
Monday:
At my house in the morning
Sweifeyeh and specifically Barakeh Mall
Msakhan at my house
A coffee shop that I forgot around University campus area
Wakalat Street
Milkshake at Gusto with Maher
Tuesday:
Morning tour in Rainbow street and downtown
Kenafeh at Habiba
Sunset on Dead Sea
Horrible Shawerma Reem for dinner @ my house – why no body told us that they don't have chicken shawerma..for a meat shawerma, it was relatively ok but the meat was too dry.
The Class on 7th circle
Wednesday:
Lunch @ tete's house
Tour in Webdeh and @ Chocoholic Café
Wild Jordan
Thursday:
Petra – we had to wake up at 4 a.m. We went through Seeq to the Khazneh and then we climbed for 1 hour till we reached the monastery. One of the most tiresome trips ever. This is the 2nd time I go to Petra and each time I go there, I hate it more and more
Wadi Rum – Al Zerb for dinner. If we ignore the noisy Jordanian music emanated from the camp next to us, I would say that the best thing about the whole journey was the time we went hiking at around 11:30 a.m. to watch the stars. We left as a big group of at least 30 people. Each one of us took a separate corner. Personally, I was annoyed by the ones who kept blinding me with the flash of their cameras. I positioned myself among 2 foreigners: an Indian guy and a Czech girl and started counting the number of shooting stars and discussing the wishes of each one of us. I recall KJ disappearing into the shadows and hearing 5 minutes later the groans of wolves and coyotes. Luckily, he came back in one piece
Friday:
Marks our return to Amman and the end of our vacation. I discovered that my flight was earlier by 3 hours than expected. As my uncle was dropping me to the airport, I see 2 limo cars dropping Ragheb Alama to the airport.
Jordan in a glance
Note: This post contains a lot of stereotyping and it might be offensive to many ppl. None of those are based on any scientific facts but more of personal experiences. Read at your own discretion I will be in Jordan in a couple of days. This will be the first time I go there since 15 months. And it brings back memories. It reminds me that I have to re-adjust my mind to the dynamics that govern the Jordanian Society. For those who don't know, like those who'll be visiting it for the first time (HINT HINT: to a fellow blogger), here is a summary about the different classes of the Jordanian Society I could rant on and on about the horrible stories I experienced with Class 5 that were behind my new fear.. xanthophobia. But I'd better save them for another blog post. Jordanians: those are the pure Jordanians. All of them are originally Bedouins and they tend to represent the rich high class society. Surprisingly, they are not that common in Jordan and believe it or not, they are a minority. They might represent around 20 to 30% of the society. Their last names would usually end with names ending with –neh, bataineh, tarawneh, zawaineh etc. The reason behind their high class status is that one of the family members, whether it's an uncle, a father or a cousin have at a certain point in time held a ministerial position in the government. I won't go far and I'll take our family as an example. My mom comes from a purely Jordanian family and guess what? her cousin is currently the Minister of Environment.
How to identify a Jordanian Girl: you will find them hanging around the 'posh' areas of Amman. Rabyeh and abdoun are their main chilling areas. If you try to make a move on her and it happens that her brother, or parent finds out, there are high chances that you will end up in a coffin and news being published next day about "further escalation in honor killing crimes in Jordan"
Palestinians: and they are such a huge community. Surprisingly they are a majority in the Jordanian society. Many of them are Palestinian Refugees. Some of them are lucky to have Jordanian Passports and some of them are only identified by special yellow IDs or green IDs. Many of them are subjects to discrimination as they are always being mistreated by the former class society. They represent the poor segment of the society who always keep on complaining about the inflation and the rise in gas and food prices. They are the reason behind the infamous Jordanian Grin as they rarely draw a smile on their face because of the numerous miseries they face. You will find those ppl situated in the areas of sweileh, we7dat, zarqa, and rest of "mokhayamat" spread around Jordan.
How to identify a Palestinian Girl : IF and it's a big IF she is out of the house and shopping, then she is in the local markets buying the necessity items of food such as meat, fruits, vegetables and abayas and scarfs. If you attempt at flirting at one of them, you'd wish you will have the ending of no.1. Under best conditions, your body will be mutilated (as the ppl can't afford kill you with shotguns and the tool of the trade will be the cheap and readily available 'white' weapon). The news being published next day will be about "Organ Trading is on the rise once again"
Iraqis: ever since Saddam's era is over, Jordan was one of the countries that have embraced the Iraqis with open arms. Nowadays, they constitute a major segment in the society and they were the ones behind the skyrocketing of Inflation and the double and even triple of real-estate land prices over the last couple of years. Some of them are sincere and came to Jordan penniless with the objective of starting a new life. And many others came with fortunes of money that were stored God no where, or…were stolen from the vaults of Saddam's mansion or the banks after the invasion of Iraq. The Iraqis are still trying their best to find their balance among the Palestinians and Jordanians who despise them because of the imbalance they brought to the Jordanian Economy.
Expats: especially the ones coming from the Gulf region. Considering the standard of living in both Jordan and the gulf Region, you'd usually classify those among the rich and high class level of society. However, due to their ignorance of the internal dynamics of the system and because of the exploitation of both Jordanians and Palestinians in the way they over-charge those Expats, it'll be fair to say that they should come in the mid-range. A common feature among expats is that all of them have at a certain point in life been scammed or been victims of Fraud. Class no.2 have managed to sustain themselves by feasting on the expats and exploiting their naivety. The 3 months of the summer represent their high season as they tend to infiltrate all the districts of Amman without exception.
Ramadanian Thoughts
Unfortunately, those are all thoughts I either had while I am at work or while I was praying Taraweeh.
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In an attempt to congratulate my friend on Ramadan:
"Ramadan Kareem ya sidi"
"Allah akram ya DVD"
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what is the true meaning of the "لا يمسه إلا المطهرون" ayah in Quran. Does it mean that you really have to make Wudu' each time I wanna touch the quran? Does it mean that it can be only touched by muslims and that muslims are not allowed? tab why? what's the point? is it referring to the reading of the quran? ok, so if I wasn't 'tahir', can I let a 'tahir' person open up the quran for me and let him flip for me the pages while I read the Quran so that I maintain the 'don't touch' rule
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so I was in madinah around a month ago. It was the first time I go to madina in 13 to 14 years. As part of the things I did was my visit to the Masjid Al-Qiblatain. According to the Sheikh who was guiding me, it was where the Prophet was ordered by Allah to turn his face from Masjid Aqsa in Jerusalem to the Kaaba in Makkah while offering the Asr prayers;..so I asked a question:
"so...the prophet was praying in front and then he got the revelation DURING prayer to turn his head. In that case, he turned from north to south, right? does this mean that him as an Emam, he was actually positioned behind the ppl? I see it as kind of funny as how ppl were able to guess when the Imam is proceeeding in the prayer...or did he just walk and turn all the way to the front WHILE praying?
The sheikh looked at me and paused for few minutes before he said: "what are you trying to say? you are mocking our prophet? get out of my cab ya faseq ya ....."
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so In Islam, a woman can only reveal her hands and her face. But they hide their ears. Are the ears part of the face or not? and what's the point behind hiding the ears? would I get turned on by seeing an ear? would ANYONE ever get turned on by an ear? I wonder
I spend the next half an hour googling images of women ears and I wasn't turned on
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efff...I don't feel this ramadan is special. Many ppl use ramadan as a reference point where they quit a habit or start a new. i have no bad habits to quit. You know what? next year, I'll start watching porn 2 months in advance so that i have something to quit by the time Ramadan comes
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Ok, I feeel bad. we have always been taught that if you get distracted in prayers or in life in general, it is because of the misguidance of the Devil. At the same time, they say that the Devils are sealed in the heavens. Ok, so why am I not concentrating in my prayers? I don't feel more divine in Ramadan. Its one of three things: 1- my devil managed to run away and stay with me (*rolls eyes*) 2- my soul is soo corrupt that it inspires evilness to my devil 3-Devils DO NOT exist (sorry God for this, but I am not convinced)
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I always thought that between praying and fasting, praying is the most important. It has been stressed alot in the quran and ppl have to pray no matter what, whether they are sick, travelling, disabled. Those 5 prayers need to be done. But as for fasting, you only fast one month and if you are sick or travelling, then you don't have to do it.
However, in one of the episodes of the "Abu Jafar El Mansur" a good point was raised. A woman doesn't have to make up for the lost prayers she missed when she was pmsing. however, she has to make up for the days she was not fasting in Ramadan. So after all, which form of worship is considered better for God?
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"LOL" is such an overused word. People are such hypocrites. I still remember spying on KJ while chatting with his friend. He keeps typing"LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL" yet he barely form a smile on his face. The same goes with my colleagues. We are at work and they keep typing "LOL" yet I know they are hiding in their cubicles and they would not move a bit. LOL should be banned from further usage in the cyberworld and I encourage the use of "loq" (laugh out quiet)
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