Jordan in a glance

Note: This post contains a lot of stereotyping and it might be offensive to many ppl. None of those are based on any scientific facts but more of personal experiences. Read at your own discretion

I will be in Jordan in a couple of days. This will be the first time I go there since 15 months. And it brings back memories. It reminds me that I have to re-adjust my mind to the dynamics that govern the Jordanian Society.

For those who don't know, like those who'll be visiting it for the first time (HINT HINT: to a fellow blogger), here is a summary about the different classes of the Jordanian Society

  1. Jordanians: those are the pure Jordanians. All of them are originally Bedouins and they tend to represent the rich high class society. Surprisingly, they are not that common in Jordan and believe it or not, they are a minority. They might represent around 20 to 30% of the society. Their last names would usually end with names ending with –neh, bataineh, tarawneh, zawaineh etc. The reason behind their high class status is that one of the family members, whether it's an uncle, a father or a cousin have at a certain point in time held a ministerial position in the government. I won't go far and I'll take our family as an example. My mom comes from a purely Jordanian family and guess what? her cousin is currently the Minister of Environment.
    1. How to identify a Jordanian guy: ask him: "we7dati or feisali?"….if he said "feisali" then he is Jordanian
    2. How to identify a Jordanian Girl: you will find them hanging around the 'posh' areas of Amman. Rabyeh and abdoun are their main chilling areas. If you try to make a move on her and it happens that her brother, or parent finds out, there are high chances that you will end up in a coffin and news being published next day about "further escalation in honor killing crimes in Jordan"


       

  2. Palestinians: and they are such a huge community. Surprisingly they are a majority in the Jordanian society. Many of them are Palestinian Refugees. Some of them are lucky to have Jordanian Passports and some of them are only identified by special yellow IDs or green IDs. Many of them are subjects to discrimination as they are always being mistreated by the former class society. They represent the poor segment of the society who always keep on complaining about the inflation and the rise in gas and food prices. They are the reason behind the infamous Jordanian Grin as they rarely draw a smile on their face because of the numerous miseries they face. You will find those ppl situated in the areas of sweileh, we7dat, zarqa, and rest of "mokhayamat" spread around Jordan.
    1. How to identify a Palestinian Guy: ask him "we7dati or feisali"? if he said, "we7dati" then he is Palestinian
    2. How to identify a Palestinian Girl : IF and it's a big IF she is out of the house and shopping, then she is in the local markets buying the necessity items of food such as meat, fruits, vegetables and abayas and scarfs. If you attempt at flirting at one of them, you'd wish you will have the ending of no.1. Under best conditions, your body will be mutilated (as the ppl can't afford kill you with shotguns and the tool of the trade will be the cheap and readily available 'white' weapon). The news being published next day will be about "Organ Trading is on the rise once again"


       

  3. Iraqis: ever since Saddam's era is over, Jordan was one of the countries that have embraced the Iraqis with open arms. Nowadays, they constitute a major segment in the society and they were the ones behind the skyrocketing of Inflation and the double and even triple of real-estate land prices over the last couple of years. Some of them are sincere and came to Jordan penniless with the objective of starting a new life. And many others came with fortunes of money that were stored God no where, or…were stolen from the vaults of Saddam's mansion or the banks after the invasion of Iraq. The Iraqis are still trying their best to find their balance among the Palestinians and Jordanians who despise them because of the imbalance they brought to the Jordanian Economy.
    1. How to identify an Iraqi Guy: ask him "we7dati or feisali?"..if he looked clueless or said "shinu?"..then he is Iraqi
    2. How to identify an Iraqi Girl: a …there are high chances that if you attempt to flirt with a girl then she'll most probably respond with: "how much?" - (Many girls have rediscovered their new talents in music, dancing and the so-called artistic pleasures of the body. Even the industry of prostitution took a major turn as the supply has increased significantly leading to a new equilibrium cheaper price and a higher quantity. This has encouraged the establishment of pubs, clubs and bars to add further immorality to the already corrupt society
  4. Expats: especially the ones coming from the Gulf region. Considering the standard of living in both Jordan and the gulf Region, you'd usually classify those among the rich and high class level of society. However, due to their ignorance of the internal dynamics of the system and because of the exploitation of both Jordanians and Palestinians in the way they over-charge those Expats, it'll be fair to say that they should come in the mid-range. A common feature among expats is that all of them have at a certain point in life been scammed or been victims of Fraud. Class no.2 have managed to sustain themselves by feasting on the expats and exploiting their naivety. The 3 months of the summer represent their high season as they tend to infiltrate all the districts of Amman without exception.
    1. How to identify an Expat Guy: driving a car with a foreign license plate or walking round the streets with wide open mouths drooling over anything they see as they seem to be amazed by their surroundings that for them have changed so much
    2. How to identify an Expat Girl: best girls to hang out with. They are here only for a small period and they are out for fun. Crazy about partying and alwaaaaays free and up to do anything. If you want a one night stand, this is the market segment to target.
  5. Cab Drivers: unfortunately this is true. Jordanian Cab drivers are so unique in their status that they deserve a class on their own. If there is any class that you must avoid interacting with, it is this one. It is the most dangerous class and the most powerful in Jordan. They are the reference points and an encyclopedia to everything that happened and will happen in Jordan. Most of the time, their forecasting is very accurate. They are the only ones who would dare to attack and insult the Government and nobody would dare to touch them. They are loyal to no one and their true allegiance is always in question and their identity is always anonymous. He could be a cab driver by day and a drug dealer by night. Working as A part-time cab driver to finance his medical college fees. Don't be surprised if a 'mokhabarat officer' worked as a cab driver at a certain point in his life. They always have some information to add about weather, sports, politics, economics, finance, biogenetics, medicine, solving crimes and anything. You name it and they know something about it. Just never ever trust them, but if they give you and advice, you better damn well listen to it.

I could rant on and on about the horrible stories I experienced with Class 5 that were behind my new fear.. xanthophobia. But I'd better save them for another blog post.

19 comments:

Batoul A. said...

6. Circassians: About 45% of the Jordanian society. Most of which work in the airports and governmental based areas. Highly found in Wadi Seer, Jndaweel, Marj el 7amam, and Na3oor. Could seem to be highly racist and defensive especially when it comes to their girls. They come in GROUPS!

How to identify a Circassian guy: ask him "we7dati or feisali"? If he says "Adiga or Abu sharkas." then he is a Circassian.

How to identify a Circassian girl: So white that shes lucid in color. If you attempt to flirt with her, out of no where a bus of guys will come to crush your bones.

#5 got me bad... I paid from 3abdali to wadi seer, 12JDs! How could I be so habla!!

Mohanned said...

This is not stereotyping, it is prejudice and racism. And It is not a bit funny.

Ali said...

Ha I was expecting the worse but the post is quite entertaining and
informative :\

A question for you though, why are #2's called "Belgiki" by #1's?

Back in high school I had 7 Jordanian classmates, and the two of them that were "Jordanian" used to call the others Belgiki.. I said it out loud once and our teacher (who was Palestinian) went nuts and scolded me for 10 minutes.

hamede said...

shame on you.

Hani Obaid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Batoul A. said...

uhh, not a good idea for a post as you approach your time for a visit to Jordan. You're gonna get beat up lool in all the forms you spoke about.

Anonymous said...

batoul a.
It is not a bit funny.

asoom said...

Interesting perspective, however I think you got some of your stereotypes all wrong especially for #1 and #2.

As for #4, from my summer in Jordan here's my perpective on Expats that come from the Gulf. They're young-middle aged women that wear these really bright layered tunic tops, multiple sets of gold at the same time,LOUD, strong stinky perfume, and will ask to speak to the manager at McDonald's because her second 1 JD ice cream was somehow not made to perfection. I almost got in a fight with this lady because she didn't care that there were a million people behind her in line.....

Hamza said...

DEAR ALL- I have said in RED in my first statement that those are based on PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. This is not meant to be used as a REFERENCE to be cited. In other words, I don't want a phD paper should not be written about demographics of jordan and citing this post as a resource. When I even wrote this, it was meant as a joke and a form of light comedy to the things out there

Hamza said...

batoul - this must be by far the best comment I ever got on any blog post. Now, here is some really added value here.

mohannad - I am sure that what I said is not based on science and facts. If you have anything to add, please do..I'll adjust the post accordingly

ali - man, I won't lie to you and tell you that I know the answer to that. I think this should be addressed to the others who lived and were raised in those schools

hamede - here is someone who looks at the empty side of the cup

hani obaid - man, I am not the best person to judge. I only spend summers there. As I said, these were based on personal experiences

batoul.a - I don't think I am that famous. I'll let you know when I am back

asoom - there are always odds and exceptions. Maybe you can help in adding some substance to the post. and LOL @ the girl at mcdonalds. You have not seen the ones that compare the quality of BurgerKing fries to the ones they have in Qatar or the size of burgers in mcdonalds is not as monstrous as the one in Kuwait etc etc

Adoosh said...

I had a long comment in mind while I read your dunno-what-to-call-it. But since you've already said twice that all you wrote is based only on your personal experience, then you simply have a very very VERY shallow experience.

Batoul A. said...

anonymous: Actually if we're all a bit open-minded and sense the sarcasm within this post, we'll find it okay. My comment was about MY people. I dissed my own people. So cool down, 3adi. We all have a negative side and that's fine to acknowledge.

The Observer said...

I understand the stereotypes here, and the comical intention of this post, which is served well, but I felt the comment about Iraqi girls to be a bit harsh.

It is sad what happened to the Iraqi people, no?

starwish said...

Interesting...

eshda3wa said...

so basically ur telling me not to visit jordan
ag3ad bel 7ar wayd a7san

lol

Duncan said...

interesting.....

"theres a note in the first paragraph to all bloggers that came across @ this blog... so no need to get upset."

matter of opinion and freedom of writing.

chill out guys and enjoy blogging!

Cheers.

Bibi-Aisha said...

I visited Jordan in 2006 but it was only a 2 day visit. I was meant to go in Feb this year for a month, but then I had a job oportunity I couldn't pass up. Now I'm hoping to visit in Jan Inshallah. I'll be sure to be on the lookout for the different types:-)

The post was so obviously satirical, and as you said, based on personal experiences and thus a very broad stereotype that it made it funny, not offensive

elijah said...

I love Jordan :)

Halawa said...

Okay, I know it's an old post and everything but I'm commenting anyway. I really really enjoyed reading it, you layed everything down haha..

I must say that you've got some stereotypes confused... especially #1 & #2
"Many of them are subjects to discrimination as they are always being mistreated by the former class society. They represent the poor segment of the society who always keep on complaining about the inflation and the rise in gas and food prices"..
Actually it's the other way around. Jordanians are the one who represent the poor segment of the society. You'd understand if you'd lived there longer.

And same thing about how to tell if she's a Jordanian or Palestini girl.. it's sorta TOTALLY the other way around.

Errmmm hahahaha.. about the Fei9ali We7dat thing... I have LOADS of Palestinian friends.. I mean, my best friends are Palestinian... we NEVER EVER had the whole Jordanian - Palestinian crappy subject... when I first moved here to the Emirates last year.. I was still in shock cuz the whole thing happened so fast, and I had to start a new life after I was happy blah blah... first day at my new school.. some girl comes up and ask me and 2 of my friends who moved here at the same time I did from my old school: Meen feekom Urdunieh.. all 3 of us say: We are... she says.. no, no, meen feekum Urduniah Urdunieh.. both my friends look at me and I say: I am, lesh, are you? She screamed : "MA FASHAAAAAAR!I wanted to tell you that I hate Jordan and Jordanians and ure country and everything about you!" You shouldn't have seen my face, I was litterally in shock, both my friends were frozen.. That day was the first time in my life to pick up a Jordanian-Palestinian fight. Messsshhhh heeeeckkkk.... even my friends en7ara2 ras-hum.. MALHA HAY? We never had this stuff in Jordan.. somehow here, they do, and it kills me... bro, they say bad stuff about my country despite the fact that they spend their summer over there, their families live over there! ANyway... I faced girls like that at least twice a week during the first 3 months.. they cut it out after they saw how I treated people (and they also discovered that I could lay some smart-assed comments). I would NEVER judge a person by his/her Nationality, but for some reason, I am judged by mine.

Another little J-P thing. I LOVE video games! Last day of school last yeat, I went to the Mall with my friends... and soo I always drag them over to Toys R' Us and Virgin and all... So I started playing Fifa on the Playstation 3 when some dude comes up and asks me: Enti Azra2 wella a5dar? I was too busy concentrating on the game and I told him: "Ana el 27mar" (I was the red team and some kid was the green team).. so He said: La2 la2, enti azra2 wella a5dar? So I told him:"Ultellak ana el a7mar!" He REALLY got on my nerves and asked the same question again (I HATE when people interrupt me while I'm playing) so I yelled: MALAK YA ZALAME?? ENTA MU SHAYEF ENNO MA FI '3EIR ELA7MAR WEL A5DAR 3AL SHASHE?!!!!".. He said: "2zdi inti fei9ali wella we7dat?"... I felt sooooo stupid! Cuz REALLY, meen bu56ur 3ala balo enno el su2al ello ma3na a3maq?????? I was sooooooooo annoyed and pissed off, I put on the smuggest face I could manage and said FEI9ALI!!!! I gave him the controller and on my way out he said: "Tara ana we7dat o el manager ta3 el ma7al... eza ma r7 tshtaru 2shi please leave the store". I was about this far *shows Hamza how far* from crushing his nose into his brain!

Later on 7asset 7ali sa5eefeh that I even put up with his shit... I mean HONESTLY! How narrow-minded can people be??

Katabt super jareedeh.. ma3lesh sami7ni, but this subject digs up some bad bad memories.

Peace! 7ala.