Abu Ballout

With every passing year, the gap keeps getting wider between me and the older generation of people who are still attached to their traditional cultural values and can't think beyond them.

By now, I am sure that you are aware of my hatred towards the conventional concepts and ideas that people, such as my annoying relatives, attach to our heritage.

Whereas some still have a grudge against me since my mansaf tragedy, I never failed to sprout further controversy by my latest ideas.

The other day I was invited for lunch at my cousin's house. The peaceful delicious feast has been instantly clouded by an intensively harsh atmosphere with one question that they asked me:
"So Hamza, what do you wanna be called? Abu what?"

And what a delicate cord they struck.

I've always been an antagonist to the concept of associating people with "abu X" rather than calling them by their real name.

First of all, it is very sexist and discriminatory. Not only are the male children entitled to fill the X spot, but only the oldest gets the honor to override his father's name forever.

Let's say that bateekha married shammameh and they have 4 children. They gave birth to 3 daughters; toffaha, injasa and romaneh and one son (the youngest) called ballout. It is just absurd that bateekha and shammameh will be always associated as "abu ballout" or "um ballout".

Although the "abu" association helps in distinct the married ones from the single ones, people tend to exploit it and try to show-off with their eldest son. The eldest son might receive special attention relative to his siblings. Although highly unlikely, but it might go to the extreme of building unhealthy competition among the younger children who would try and improve themselves to their parents.

On the other hand, I know a family whose eldest son has deceased in an accident. Although his memory will never be forgotten the magnitude of the sorrow the parents experience every time they call them "abu …" or "um …" is unbearable.

Personally, I prefer calling people by their real names rather than the abu nickname, unless I don't know their real names. For some unknown reason, it is taboo or shameful for some people to call their women by her real name rather than "um X" and this has given me its own share of problems.

Other than moving to the west and severing all your contacts with arabs, or genetically choosing female children, I wonder what else could we do abolish such silly ideologies that disgrace our culture.