Jordan in a glance

Note: This post contains a lot of stereotyping and it might be offensive to many ppl. None of those are based on any scientific facts but more of personal experiences. Read at your own discretion

I will be in Jordan in a couple of days. This will be the first time I go there since 15 months. And it brings back memories. It reminds me that I have to re-adjust my mind to the dynamics that govern the Jordanian Society.

For those who don't know, like those who'll be visiting it for the first time (HINT HINT: to a fellow blogger), here is a summary about the different classes of the Jordanian Society

1. Jordanians: those are the pure Jordanians. All of them are originally Bedouins and they tend to represent the rich high class society. Surprisingly, they are not that common in Jordan and believe it or not, they are a minority. They might represent around 20 to 30% of the society. Their last names would usually end with names ending with –neh, bataineh, tarawneh, zawaineh etc. The reason behind their high class status is that one of the family members, whether it's an uncle, a father or a cousin have at a certain point in time held a ministerial position in the government. I won't go far and I'll take our family as an example. My mom comes from a purely Jordanian family and guess what? her cousin is currently the Minister of Environment.
   
   1. How to identify a Jordanian guy: ask him: "we7dati or feisali?"….if he said "feisali" then he is Jordanian
      
   2. How to identify a Jordanian Girl: you will find them hanging around the 'posh' areas of Amman. Rabyeh and abdoun are their main chilling areas. If you try to make a move on her and it happens that her brother, or parent finds out, there are high chances that you will end up in a coffin and news being published next day about "further escalation in honor killing crimes in Jordan"
      

      
       

2. Palestinians: and they are such a huge community. Surprisingly they are a majority in the Jordanian society. Many of them are Palestinian Refugees. Some of them are lucky to have Jordanian Passports and some of them are only identified by special yellow IDs or green IDs. Many of them are subjects to discrimination as they are always being mistreated by the former class society. They represent the poor segment of the society who always keep on complaining about the inflation and the rise in gas and food prices. They are the reason behind the infamous Jordanian Grin as they rarely draw a smile on their face because of the numerous miseries they face. You will find those ppl situated in the areas of sweileh, we7dat, zarqa, and rest of "mokhayamat" spread around Jordan.
   
   1. How to identify a Palestinian Guy: ask him "we7dati or feisali"? if he said, "we7dati" then he is Palestinian
      
   2. How to identify a Palestinian Girl : IF and it's a big IF she is out of the house and shopping, then she is in the local markets buying the necessity items of food such as meat, fruits, vegetables and abayas and scarfs. If you attempt at flirting at one of them, you'd wish you will have the ending of no.1. Under best conditions, your body will be mutilated (as the ppl can't afford kill you with shotguns and the tool of the trade will be the cheap and readily available 'white' weapon). The news being published next day will be about "Organ Trading is on the rise once again"
      

      
       

3. Iraqis: ever since Saddam's era is over, Jordan was one of the countries that have embraced the Iraqis with open arms. Nowadays, they constitute a major segment in the society and they were the ones behind the skyrocketing of Inflation and the double and even triple of real-estate land prices over the last couple of years. Some of them are sincere and came to Jordan penniless with the objective of starting a new life. And many others came with fortunes of money that were stored God no where, or…were stolen from the vaults of Saddam's mansion or the banks after the invasion of Iraq. The Iraqis are still trying their best to find their balance among the Palestinians and Jordanians who despise them because of the imbalance they brought to the Jordanian Economy.
   
   1. How to identify an Iraqi Guy: ask him "we7dati or feisali?"..if he looked clueless or said "shinu?"..then he is Iraqi
      
   2. How to identify an Iraqi Girl: a …there are high chances that if you attempt to flirt with a girl then she'll most probably respond with: "how much?" - (Many girls have rediscovered their new talents in music, dancing and the so-called artistic pleasures of the body. Even the industry of prostitution took a major turn as the supply has increased significantly leading to a new equilibrium cheaper price and a higher quantity. This has encouraged the establishment of pubs, clubs and bars to add further immorality to the already corrupt society
      
4. Expats: especially the ones coming from the Gulf region. Considering the standard of living in both Jordan and the gulf Region, you'd usually classify those among the rich and high class level of society. However, due to their ignorance of the internal dynamics of the system and because of the exploitation of both Jordanians and Palestinians in the way they over-charge those Expats, it'll be fair to say that they should come in the mid-range. A common feature among expats is that all of them have at a certain point in life been scammed or been victims of Fraud. Class no.2 have managed to sustain themselves by feasting on the expats and exploiting their naivety. The 3 months of the summer represent their high season as they tend to infiltrate all the districts of Amman without exception.
   
   1. How to identify an Expat Guy: driving a car with a foreign license plate or walking round the streets with wide open mouths drooling over anything they see as they seem to be amazed by their surroundings that for them have changed so much
      
   2. How to identify an Expat Girl: best girls to hang out with. They are here only for a small period and they are out for fun. Crazy about partying and alwaaaaays free and up to do anything. If you want a one night stand, this is the market segment to target.
      
5. Cab Drivers: unfortunately this is true. Jordanian Cab drivers are so unique in their status that they deserve a class on their own. If there is any class that you must avoid interacting with, it is this one. It is the most dangerous class and the most powerful in Jordan. They are the reference points and an encyclopedia to everything that happened and will happen in Jordan. Most of the time, their forecasting is very accurate. They are the only ones who would dare to attack and insult the Government and nobody would dare to touch them. They are loyal to no one and their true allegiance is always in question and their identity is always anonymous. He could be a cab driver by day and a drug dealer by night. Working as A part-time cab driver to finance his medical college fees. Don't be surprised if a 'mokhabarat officer' worked as a cab driver at a certain point in his life. They always have some information to add about weather, sports, politics, economics, finance, biogenetics, medicine, solving crimes and anything. You name it and they know something about it. Just never ever trust them, but if they give you and advice, you better damn well listen to it.
   

I could rant on and on about the horrible stories I experienced with Class 5 that were behind my new fear.. xanthophobia. But I'd better save them for another blog post.

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Ramadanian Thoughts

Unfortunately, those are all thoughts I either had while I am at work or while I was praying Taraweeh.

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In an attempt to congratulate my friend on Ramadan:
"Ramadan Kareem ya sidi"
"Allah akram ya DVD"
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what is the true meaning of the "لا يمسه إلا المطهرون" ayah in Quran. Does it mean that you really have to make Wudu' each time I wanna touch the quran? Does it mean that it can be only touched by muslims and that muslims are not allowed? tab why? what's the point? is it referring to the reading of the quran? ok, so if I wasn't 'tahir', can I let a 'tahir' person open up the quran for me and let him flip for me the pages while I read the Quran so that I maintain the 'don't touch' rule
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so I was in madinah around a month ago. It was the first time I go to madina in 13 to 14 years. As part of the things I did was my visit to the Masjid Al-Qiblatain. According to the Sheikh who was guiding me, it was where the Prophet was ordered by Allah to turn his face from Masjid Aqsa in Jerusalem to the Kaaba in Makkah while offering the Asr prayers;..so I asked a question:
"so...the prophet was praying in front and then he got the revelation DURING prayer to turn his head. In that case, he turned from north to south, right? does this mean that him as an Emam, he was actually positioned behind the ppl? I see it as kind of funny as how ppl were able to guess when the Imam is proceeeding in the prayer...or did he just walk and turn all the way to the front WHILE praying?

The sheikh looked at me and paused for few minutes before he said: "what are you trying to say? you are mocking our prophet? get out of my cab ya faseq ya ....."
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so In Islam, a woman can only reveal her hands and her face. But they hide their ears. Are the ears part of the face or not? and what's the point behind hiding the ears? would I get turned on by seeing an ear? would ANYONE ever get turned on by an ear? I wonder

I spend the next half an hour googling images of women ears and I wasn't turned on
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efff...I don't feel this ramadan is special. Many ppl use ramadan as a reference point where they quit a habit or start a new. i have no bad habits to quit. You know what? next year, I'll start watching porn 2 months in advance so that i have something to quit by the time Ramadan comes
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Ok, I feeel bad. we have always been taught that if you get distracted in prayers or in life in general, it is because of the misguidance of the Devil. At the same time, they say that the Devils are sealed in the heavens. Ok, so why am I not concentrating in my prayers? I don't feel more divine in Ramadan. Its one of three things: 1- my devil managed to run away and stay with me (*rolls eyes*) 2- my soul is soo corrupt that it inspires evilness to my devil 3-Devils DO NOT exist (sorry God for this, but I am not convinced)
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I always thought that between praying and fasting, praying is the most important. It has been stressed alot in the quran and ppl have to pray no matter what, whether they are sick, travelling, disabled. Those 5 prayers need to be done. But as for fasting, you only fast one month and if you are sick or travelling, then you don't have to do it.

However, in one of the episodes of the "Abu Jafar El Mansur" a good point was raised. A woman doesn't have to make up for the lost prayers she missed when she was pmsing. however, she has to make up for the days she was not fasting in Ramadan. So after all, which form of worship is considered better for God?
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"LOL" is such an overused word. People are such hypocrites. I still remember spying on KJ while chatting with his friend. He keeps typing"LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL" yet he barely form a smile on his face. The same goes with my colleagues. We are at work and they keep typing "LOL" yet I know they are hiding in their cubicles and they would not move a bit. LOL should be banned from further usage in the cyberworld and I encourage the use of "loq" (laugh out quiet)

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